Review: Dog's Bollocks Bar, Thailand
Moo 10 Soi 13/1, Beach Road, Pattaya, Bang Lamung, Pattaya, Chonburi, 20150, Thailand Price: $
Away from the hustle and bustle and good urbanism of Pattaya’s pedestrianised Walking Street and the scores of package holiday tourists, past the falangs hoping no one they know has spotted them speaking to 5’9” Thai girls, lies a little bar that is forever England.
Dog's Bollocks Bar (sans definite article), allegedly the home of those with banning orders and criminals looking to escape to the sun as well as a summons, is nestled 90 yards from the beach between the numerous massage parlours. Notorious Chelsea Headhunter Chris 'Chubby' Henderson allegedly owned a part share in the 1990s.
Those wishing to unwind with a Chaing (THB 60) under the adorned UVF and Rangers/Chelsea flags, will find themselves in good company, ever keen to carry on traditions of the old country, nights such as “Sash bash” held on the 12th July. As well as karaoke nights on a regular basis.
Many an Unherd Columnist will find something here that has been lost in the hyper neo-liberal dystopia that has atomised our communities in the United Kingdom. The stoic Blue Labour patriotism is represented by the Queen adorned in a Rangers jersey. A steadfast commitment to the union of four nations that make up this sceptred isle with slogans such as “no surrender the Pope’s a bender” adorning the restrooms. And a respect for women only spaces, despite the presence of many a kathoey.
If you're looking for the cliched sexpat bar in a city that was the setting for one of Michel Houellebecq sleaziest novels, where ‘the works’ can either mean a full English or a full body massage - there are many to choose from. But it is perhaps Dog's Bollocks Bar, which represents the antithesis of the Sports Bible, Madri Lager and movember, were you should stop for a libation.
The Coronavirus outbreak as well as many old lags passing on, means the future of this curio is uncertain, as of 2022 most bars have been shut down. But given the lifting of mask mandates and vaccine passports in as of last month, maybe the Chelsea lion will roar again?